Yellow

The year ahead

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Now on to this week’s musings…

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I didn’t realise how many weeks had slipped by since my last letter. January and February seemed to become one long blur of wet grey days - dog walks, shifts at Tate, and PhD days all melting into each other. Somehow simultaneously exhausting and over before you realise they’ve happened, these early months of the year are easily my least favourite, bleached of colour and battered by high winds. But in the last few weeks colour has begun to reappear, proving once again that nothing lasts forever, no matter what it feels like. The more-than-human world is an ever moving cycle.

In London growing up the first colours came from the snowdrops and crocus. In Cornwall the first colour is yellow. Daffodils, primroses, gorse. Slowly the Cornish fields, hedgerows, and clifftops are turn yellow. Its cheerful and shocking presence after the grey of winter is what makes yellow one of my favourite colours. Soon it will be joined by the white blossoms of the blackthorn tree, the purple haze of the bluebells, and luminous green of fresh beech leaves. Each new colour fills the world with vibrancy and life.

As the hedgerows began to bloom earlier this month I returned to my PhD, sitting down with Cat, one of my PhD supervisors, and planing my entire year. From now until December intricately mapped out with word counts, deadlines for drafts, and studio days carefully marked in my calendar. At the end of the year, I will hand in a THING made from art and words, a thing that will be reviewed for the next major milestone of my PhD – the confirmation of route.

The confirmation of route essentially does exactly what the name suggests, it is a moment of reflection that confirms whether one’s research is on track to achieve a PhD, or if it would be better suited to a Master of Philosophy (MPhil).

It is a BIG DEAL.

But it’s also a chance to talk about my work with a lovely panel of people who have already taken the time to immerse themselves in my research, and what could be lovelier than that? I was reminded of the joy of moments like this at our Spring Symposium last week. The day was filled with presentations from fellow PhD researchers, many of whom are further down the road towards their own confirmation of route. It was a day of glorious intellectual gymnastics and mind-expanding conversation. It reminded me of how privileged I am to be doing a PhD, and how endlessly lucky I am to be doing it a Falmouth where creativity, practice-based research, emotional sensitivity, experimentation, and rebelliousness are not only welcome but actively embraced.

The confirmation of route guidelines tells me I need to hand in 10,000 words and any creative output that goes with them. My supervisors and the heads of the PhD programme at Falmouth make sure to emphasise the word guideline and to highlight the importance of the words like equivalency for practice-based researchers like myself. They stress every time we talk that just because something has always been done one way doesn’t mean that’s the only appropriate option. That just because there aren’t yet guidelines for other ways of approaching the confirmation of route doesn’t mean there aren’t other options.

So, as I delve into the structure of my thesis, as I read and listen to the books anchoring my research, as I cord nettle fibres in my studio, as I work through my plan for the coming days, weeks, and months, I hold two truths in mind.

Truth – in December I need new artwork and the 10,000 well written and polished words that balance and contextualise those artworks.

Truth – in December I need the equivalent of new artwork and the 10,000 well written and polished words that balance and contextualise those artworks.

What that equivalence might be, how I might create it, present it, experience it, I do not know. Right now I am sure of only one thing - that I want every aspect of my PhD, including my confirmation of route, to be led by my art. I will figure out the rest, find all the other answers I need by diving into my research with an open mind.

I am ready. I am excited.

I will share more with you more as I do it…