The Van Moves Forward

I am so excited.

I’m taking the van to a mechanic tomorrow. He is the friend of a friend and can do all the jobs that need doing, big and small, so that I can start building. I feel like I am taking the first real step forward in months. I have found someone I can trust to help make sure everything is as it should be. I am putting the final touches to the foundation of my home, and once that’s done, I can finally start shaping it. Windows and solar panels and insulation can start going in. I can rebuild the floor and put in new walls. I can start doing all the things I have no idea how to do.

I am so beyond excited, and so incredibly nervous. But in that good way where my insides feel fizzy.

Knowing that things are once more moving forward has motivated me. I have begun reading about van conversions and watching YouTube videos again. I’ve started researching where to buy the floor I want. Every night I’m dreaming of sitting and cooking and showering and sleeping in my van.

I’ve also revisited the floor-plan. One of the great things about not being in a rush is that I’ve had time to sit with ideas and plans, time to check in with myself and make sure I get it right. When I first designed my floor-plan, I did so based on some of the best vans I’d seen online.

But I also based the design around an important idea, that when building a future it is important to do so with intention, to put out into the world what you hope to manifest. And though I am building this van for me, it is important that there is space for another person in my home. That I have enough plates and cutlery to share a meal with someone, and that there are enough seats around the table to do so.

The plates and cutlery are easy enough, despite the limited storage space. And I thought I had the seats figured out. But in revisiting the floor-plan I realised that, in focusing on the importance of shared space, I had designed something I wouldn’t feel comfortable in.

And so, last week I set about fixing it. I remeasured, and researched, and sketched until I worked it out. A table I want to sit at, alone or with another. A seat I will want to curl up in to read. A table I can be comfortable at while looking out over the view. A seat the long dreamed about dog can on. A home designed just for me, with room for another.

A home with room for everything I need. Plates and seating, a shower and enough kitchen side space, a bed and TV, cupboards and comfort, art and spice rack.

A home to share adventures in; with friends, with family, with a dog, maybe one day with a partner, and certainly with all of you.

I have it right this time. The design is ready. There are still questions but they are ones that can’t be answered on graph paper. I am nervous and scared and excited. I am taking the van to the mechanic tomorrow. I shall let you know how it goes.