Anything but Nomadic
Which could be important, but isn’t what I had planned for this summer.
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Also, a warm welcome to all the new subscribers this week, I am thrilled you are here. And thanks to all those who sent me such thoughtful comments about my wildfire work.
Now on to this week’s musings…
This summer isn’t going according to plan. Firstly, its cold and raining which I doubt was in anyone’s summer plans. Secondly, I was meant to be off in my van. Or at least that was the dream as I worked on my van last summer. I had this vision in my head of opening the van doors on some gorgeous Scottish loch or Italian mountain or Spanish coastline and eating my breakfast looking out over new horizons. I was going to be making art and living nomadically, following the thread of creativity and imagination that is behind everything I do in life from my van build to my art to getting Finn.
That dream, that vision, has not come true.
Last summer I thought I would have the funds to finish the van, I had it all calculated, but then my driving lessons were so messed up that I had to start again from scratch with another instructor and not one of my funding applications came back with a yes. Suddenly my bank account was empty, and the van wasn’t finished. Then I got Finn and for weeks couldn’t work on the van at all, even the bits I have the parts for. That changed this week, Finn is almost five months old and managing more time alone, which meant I finally opened the door and spent an hour building. An hour doesn’t get much done but it felt absolutely fantastic. I can’t wait to do it again.
As I was building, I was thinking about the now more distant but no less longed for dream of living in the van, of travelling, of walking with Finn through distant woodlands and along distant rivers. I have gotten shift work at Tate St Ives as a Visitor Assistant, which essentially means I move from gallery to gallery keeping an eye on the art and answering any questions I can. It’s the best shift work I have ever had, BY FAR. I get to look at art all day. The fact that as I sit there, I am being paid seems insane, and insanely brilliant. If Tate is the thing that helps me finish the van, then I am the luckiest person around.
But I am certainly not nomadic right now. However, I’m wondering if maybe that’s a good thing, even if it doesn’t feel like it is? I was thinking about my van and future nomadic dreams when walking Finn and Gem yesterday morning on Rosewall Hill. Rosewall is about a ten-minute drive from St Ives and is also absolutely gloriously beautiful: far reaching views over the fields out to sea, bracken and gorse and heather which is currently blooming and covering the hill in bright purple, mining ruins, rock formations. Rosewall has it all. As I walked, Finn following his nose into the undergrowth and Gem darting happily ahead, I looked around me wondered whether, before one disappears over the next horizon, it might first be important to know the place you are leaving intimately. With the van incomplete and grounding me here, I have the opportunity to find bits of Cornwall I’ve not explored before, both close to home and further off.
While the horizon is, to me, the most tempting thing in the world, and I want with all my heart to already be heading towards it, I felt truly content on Rosewall Hill, and truly blessed to have such an incredible land to get to know before I leave.
Artists have been coming here for generations. The ripples of work made in the west of Cornwall have spread out across the globe. For such a small area the impact on art history from this corner of this county has been huge. You can see it on the walls and plinths of Tate St Ives. I am looking at it for hours at a time during my shifts. And so, I am wondering if for a little while longer I can follow the thread of my creativity and imagination down local laths, to local horizons, and to the end of the driveway for a few hours at a time while I steadily work on the van. Perhaps I can embed myself here deeply enough that when, eventually, the horizon widens out and my dream of van life becomes a reality, I will be leaving somewhere I have explored every available inch of, from the gallery walls to the hills and beaches. I think if I can, it will make me a better traveller when I go.
Do you enjoy exploring your home? I’d love to hear about it. Leave a comment below…
Good for you not so Nomadic Rose, great thinking.So gald the job came through, sounds like you like it. Xox